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It’s a funny world we live in today. We are all expected to be busy productive adults. It feels like we are expected to know how to do just about everything without really being taught how.
Especially as mothers, we feel the pressure to do it all. We worry about the physical, mental, and spiritual health of our husband, our kids, and ourselves. We try to avoid comparing ourselves, our homes, our families to others, yet we still can’t help looking to make sure we are doing things “right.”
Our culture calls us to work outside the home as strong independent women. We look at social media and feel the pressure to have a spotless well decorated Pinterest home. We should also have well behaved emotionally intelligent children.
We are supposed to find that unattainable work life balance. Be there for our kids and all their activities. Discipline, but gentle parent. Don’t let them get away with too much, but don’t be too strict. Be the emotional support they need. Don’t even get me started on the food and all the ways we can go wrong there. Encourage them to be all they can be, but also be realistic.
On top of all of this, the other side of that coin is that if you happen to be a stay at home mom, look out. The pressure to make sure no one sees you relaxing is ridiculous. You better be cooking everything from scratch, have a spotless home, run your kids around like you own a taxi business, be in their school’s PTA, or if you are a good stay at home mom, you better be homeschooling, providing the most exciting hands on activities and curriculum.
And in doing all of this, remember self care.
I say all this to show just how crazy these standards are for mothers and care takers. It’s too much. And to make things worse, what we are expected to do, according to others, is ever changing.
It’s beyond exhausting, yet incredibly hard to stop.
After twenty years of homemaking, fourteen years of being a mother, and my life being nowhere close to what I thought it would be, here’s my two cents:
First of all, no matter where you are in life or what you are doing, slow down and take a minute to reflect on your life.
The best thing you can do for your marriage and your children is to do what brings you a sense of purpose. Notice I didn’t say what makes you happy. Happiness and purpose are two different things.
Striving for happiness can unintentionally lead to selfishness. Purpose, on the other hand, has a way of aligning yourself to something greater than you.
This is what makes life worthwhile. Being a part of something greater than yourself. This is what makes motherhood so amazing.
Now, this can and should look very different for every family.
What will not look different, however, is where you find your purpose. The blueprint for life and how we should be living it is the same for us all.
I encourage you to open up a Bible, every day if you can. In it you will find the purpose of your life and true happiness. Study the gospels to get to know Jesus and learn how to really serve and treat each other. Study the old testament to get to know our Creator. All of this will and should shape your life as a mother.
Our day to day life will look different, though. You might find joy and purpose in working outside the home and helping to financially contribute to your household and being a part of your children’s school activities.
Someone else will find their purpose by being fully engrossed in the day to day care taking of their home and being home with their children and homeschooling them.
And believe it or not, it is possible to mix lifestyles. Working moms can, and do homeschool their children. Stay at home moms can, and do send their children to school.
The balance is different for us all. And that’s ok.
As women who are keepers of the home, it’s such an honor to be able to contribute any way we can to our household. No matter what we are doing, there’s lots to do.
I am finding joy in so many ways. I have stopped putting myself in a box and I just do what brings me joy as a Christian, wife, mother, and homemaker who also happens to work full time outside of the home.
I have always been the type who thinks “I’ll do this when that is done.” You know the type of person who will rest after the house is fully spotless. Or the type that says “life will be better when…..”
I’m here to encourage you to take a break in the mess and enjoy your life and your family. I want to encourage you to start now whatever you have been putting off until life gets easier.
Let’s live life now, the way we were made to, so we don’t regret it later.